(guide notes for wrestling a damn idea into shape later)

(I)

I am mesmerised by
... the unguarded boy, i saw
in your eyes

today.


In a brief moment
Beyond the fog of recitence
Behind your iron veil.


It makes me smile unconsciously,
glad of heart
just to recall
the thought
of your open gaze.



(II)

Yet it was I who fragmented the moment
I who broke my gaze
before the barest flicker of recognition
could chance into your eyes

It was I who looked away.

Afraid.

Afraid to see a closing door
afraid to see the wall return
afraid I would be turned away
by a look, made unwelcome


(III)

i would have liked to stay


(IV)

The next time I saw you,
The ice had glazed over once more.